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April 3, 2018 • Page 2 shop online at www.missourivalleyshopper.com The Blind Date Dave Says Access To My Checking Account? Many Already Know Dear Dave, Will paying my taxes online give the government electronic access to my Dear Dave, checking account? How can I convince my fellow millennials that government isn’t Ashley the solution to their problems? Josh Dear Ashley, If you use your checking account, of course they will have the ability to Dear Josh, withdraw that money from your ac- I think you’re proceeding from a false assumption. Many milcount. I believe I know where you’re lennials already understand it’s not the government’s job to take going with this question, and I think care of everyone and provide everything. The problem, I think, is you may be a little confused about my there’s a group of people in every generation that wants someone else to take care of them. stance on this sort of thing. There’s nothing wrong with certain The only thing I can suggest is that you try to be kind to everyDave entities having access to your checking ac- one. It does no good to have a political discussion with a political count. I use electronic bill pay for utilities, neophyte. If you have friends like this, perhaps you could suggest mutual fund contributions, and things like they work to control and improve the variables in their lives they that all the time. The only time I warn peo- can actually control and make better — namely themselves. ple against giving electronic access to their bank accounts is when You can’t control the variable of government, Josh. It’s not going they’re dealing with collectors over a bad debt. The government to come to your rescue. It never has. — Dave — even the IRS — isn’t known for coming in and randomly taking money out of people’s accounts. Collectors, on the other hand, do it all the time. You’re in a fight when you’re dealing with a debt collector. It’s an * Dave Ramsey is America’s trusted voice on money and busiadversarial relationship. As a rule, no one in that industry should ness, and CEO of Ramsey Solutions. He has authored seven bestever be given electronic access to any of your accounts. There selling books, including The Total Money Makeover. The Dave may be a few decent debt collection companies out there, but Ramsey Show is heard by more than 12 million listeners each week on 575 radio stations and multiple digital platforms. Follow many of them will lie, cheat, and steal to get your money. Dave on Twitter at @DaveRamsey and on the web at daveramI hope that clears things up, Ashley. sey.com. — Dave By Daris Howard I was in college, and though I was a good athlete, I was also shy, and I didn’t date much. It was hard for me to think of any reason a girl would want to go out with me. One day, a girl from the church I attended called and asked to talk to me. Deanna was a beautiful girl, and everyone liked her. All of my roommates were sure they were madly in love with her. So I couldn’t imagine why she would want to talk to me. “Daris,” she said, “a sorority dinner and dance is coming up on April 1st, and a girl I know needs a date. Would you go with her?” I didn’t need to check my empty social calendar to tell her I was available. “I’d love to go, but I’m not very good at dancing or social things. Are you sure she wouldn’t rather go with one of my roommates?” “I’m sure. She knows about you, and she’s excited. But she may not be the best looking.” “I can’t claim that I am, either,” I replied. “And if she’s willing to go with me, I’d be happy to be her date. I just don’t want her to expect somebody too exciting.” “You’ll be wonderful,” Deanna said. “I know you’ll treat her well. That’s why I asked you.” Deanna told me a little more about the girl and that her name was DeeDee. When I hung up, my roommates gathered around. Bryce, who had answered the phone, had already told everyone it was Deanna. “What did she want?” Bryce asked. Ron’s Auto Glass “She asked me to the sorority dinner and dance,” I said. “She asked you, the King of I-can’t-dance?” Bryce asked incredulously. “She could choose anyone. Why would she choose you?” “I’m not her date,” I replied. “I’m going with a friend of hers.” Home Auto Business “Oh, a blind date,” David said. “Those can be disastrous. Glass Repair & Replacement And if the girl needs someone else to ask for her, she probably Hear ye! Hear ye! Cometh to the think tank this morn1915 Broadway Street, Yankton needs help.” www.ronsautoglass.com ing Delbert McLain, our very own Chamber of Commerce. A “Well, it’s not like I’m the most socially adept, either,” I rebroad smile beameth. plied. You know, we’re really proud of Del. Of course, what he’d “You’ve got a good point there,” Bryce said. Purchase a 60,000 BTU, 90+ High Efficiency like to do is make this valley so rich and crowded that none As the day grew closer, I became more nervous. The girl of us would want to live here anymore, but at least he works Furnace and a 2 Ton, 13 SEER Air Conditioner sounded like a great girl, and I hoped she wouldn’t be disapreally hard at it. We admire hard work. pointed when she met me. It seemed way too soon that I was For Only “Hey Del,” Steve said, “pull up a cup and sit down.” dressed in my best suit and on my way to Deanna’s apartment. “Thanks guys,” he said, flipping his necktie over one When I arrived, I stood there for most of a minute, taking deep shoulder so it wouldn’t dangle in the coffee. “You heard about breaths to calm my nerves. Finally, I knocked on the door. that Spanish billionaire Fortunato Alvarez de Banqueria?” A girl with frizzy, uncombed hair, wearing a month’s supply *No other discounts apply “No,” Doc said. “We don’t keep up on Spanish billionaires, *Certain restrictions apply of poorly placed makeup, answered. Her dress had probably afraid.” been nice when it was new, but it definitely needed ironing. ?Tax Included I’m “See,” Del explained, “he’s this rich guy from Spain …” She smiled a crooked smile and said, “Hi, I’m DeeDee.” “Kinda had that part figured out.” ?Wired I held out my hand. “Hi, I’m Daris.” “ … and he’s interested in … get this … investing in our The girl burst out laughing, and I felt confused. Was my valley Isn’t that something? I mean, it’s still in the tentative ?Installed name funny? Then, from behind the door, Deanna and a bunch stages, of course, but the word is, it’s going to happen.” of other girls all came out dressed in beautiful gowns. They “What’s going to happen?” Herb said. ?Done were all laughing, too, and they yelled, “April Fools!” “The subdivision, of course. The way I heard it …” I was still confused. Deanna said, “We had Julie dress up “Hold on, Delbert,” Doc said. “How did you hear it and and pretend to be your date.” what did you hear?” “Oh,” I said. “So I don’t have a date?” “Sure. You know Carol, comes in the barber shop to Suddenly the girls all went quiet and looked at each other. sweep up at night? Well, her cousin’s girlfriend works in the Deanna took my hand. “Daris, I’m your date. DeeDee is my city and overheard her bosses talking at break time about nickname.” Yankton Vermillion 605-665-9461 • 605-624-0034 Fortunato coming over here with some real money. And what “I’m going with you? But my roommates said you could go other Fortunato could it be? Serving the Yankton, Vermillion and Surrounding Areas For Over 36 Years with anyone you wanted.” “And the bosses said, and I got this straight from Carol, www.larrysheatingandcooling.com She squeezed my hand a little tighter and smiled. “And I NEW! that the subdivision would probably be somewhere near our 24 Hours...Any Time...Any Day am. I want to go with you because I like you and I’ve seen how local landfill and will be called Basura Vista Estates. Think respectful and kind you are to us girls at church.” of all the people coming in! All night I struggled to believe that Deanna would want me Think of all the road scraping to be her date. But I had a wonderful time. The food was excelthat will happen! It’s amazlent, and the dancing was fun. ing!” When the evening ended, I walked home, almost in a daze. “What will those new peoWhen I came in, my roommates gathered to hear about my date. Smirnoff Vodka $ ple do for jobs?” Doc asked. “What was she like?” Bryce asked. 1.75 ML “They’ll scrape in those Captain Morgan “My date was actually Deanna,” I said. roads and build those Spiced Rum My roommates all looked at each other, then burst out $ houses, of course,” Del said, laughing. 1.75 ML taking a sip of coffee. “It’s the “Nice try,” Bryce said. “But we know it’s April Fools’ day.” Crown Royal $ American Way.” I smiled and realized I couldn’t convince them otherwise, 1.75 ML, Includes Appl e & Black so I didn’t try. Bud Ligh $ Ramsey 605-665-9841 3895 * $ HEATING & COOLING 2401 Broadway, Yankton We’ll M Local Advertis atch All ing Prices! 18.99 25.99 44.99 t Orange 7.75 6 Pack Bottles Cork N Bottle . nouncing.. An 1500 Broadway, 665-3881 We’ll Match All Local Advertising Prices! YANKTON CITYWIDE RUMMAGE canopy spoons fire pit rakes vinyl records bike rakes fire pit fire pit household snow blower spoons yard ornaments rakes Prices Best Town! In Dining & Entertainment C.J.’s at the Lake Weigand Rd. NE Side Of The Lake • 402-388-4267 Great Food – Fantastic View – Awesome Wild Animal Display Friday & Saturday All You Can Eat Fish & Grilled Shrimp Or Grilled Shrimp & Chicken $10.95 Sunday Breakfast Buffet Book Your Next Party At CJ’s! Call 402-388-4267 MAY 10 TH thru MAY 13 TH Stop By The Press & Dakotan To Place Your Ad OR email ads@yankton.net INCLUDES: • • Your ad (30 words, 1 address per ad) placed in the • Citywide Rummage Sale section published May 11-12. • • Your ad will also appear on-line at www.yankton.net • • 2 Yard Signs • • by the: Sponsored DEADLINE: 5PM, MONDAY, MAY 7TH 2018 30 words and $.20 per word after 30. ONLY ONE ADDRESS ALLOWED IN EACH AD. GRADUATION SHOW AND DEMO DAYS Friday, April 6 • 3pm-6pm Saturday, April 7 • 10am-3pm Pick up a copy of the Graduation Catering Guide and let our professional staff take care of the rest! 10% Discount for Orders Placed During the Graduation Show! 2018 All Ads Will Run May 10th, 11th & 12th in the P&D for just $30 2100 Broadway • Yankton
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