040318_YKMV_A2.pdf
April 3, 2018 • Page 2
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The Blind Date
Dave Says
Access To My Checking Account?
Many Already Know
Dear Dave,
Will paying my taxes online give the
government electronic access to my Dear Dave,
checking account?
How can I convince my fellow millennials that government isn’t
Ashley
the solution to their problems?
Josh
Dear Ashley,
If you use your checking account,
of course they will have the ability to Dear Josh,
withdraw that money from your ac- I think you’re proceeding from a false assumption. Many milcount. I believe I know where you’re lennials already understand it’s not the government’s job to take
going with this question, and I think care of everyone and provide everything. The problem, I think, is
you may be a little confused about my there’s a group of people in every generation that wants someone
else to take care of them.
stance on this sort of thing.
There’s nothing wrong with certain The only thing I can suggest is that you try to be kind to everyDave
entities having access to your checking ac- one. It does no good to have a political discussion with a political
count. I use electronic bill pay for utilities, neophyte. If you have friends like this, perhaps you could suggest
mutual fund contributions, and things like they work to control and improve the variables in their lives they
that all the time. The only time I warn peo- can actually control and make better — namely themselves.
ple against giving electronic access to their bank accounts is when You can’t control the variable of government, Josh. It’s not going
they’re dealing with collectors over a bad debt. The government to come to your rescue. It never has.
— Dave
— even the IRS — isn’t known for coming in and randomly taking
money out of people’s accounts. Collectors, on the other hand, do
it all the time.
You’re in a fight when you’re dealing with a debt collector. It’s an * Dave Ramsey is America’s trusted voice on money and busiadversarial relationship. As a rule, no one in that industry should ness, and CEO of Ramsey Solutions. He has authored seven bestever be given electronic access to any of your accounts. There selling books, including The Total Money Makeover. The Dave
may be a few decent debt collection companies out there, but Ramsey Show is heard by more than 12 million listeners each
week on 575 radio stations and multiple digital platforms. Follow
many of them will lie, cheat, and steal to get your money.
Dave on Twitter at @DaveRamsey and on the web at daveramI hope that clears things up, Ashley.
sey.com.
— Dave
By
Daris Howard
I was in college, and though I was a good athlete, I was also
shy, and I didn’t date much. It was hard for me to think of any
reason a girl would want to go out with me.
One day, a girl from the church I attended called and asked
to talk to me. Deanna was a beautiful girl, and everyone liked
her. All of my roommates were sure they were madly in love
with her. So I couldn’t imagine why she would want to talk to
me.
“Daris,” she said, “a sorority dinner and dance is coming up
on April 1st, and a girl I know needs a date. Would you go with
her?”
I didn’t need to check my empty social calendar to tell her
I was available.
“I’d love to go, but I’m not very good at dancing or social
things. Are you sure she wouldn’t rather go with one of my
roommates?”
“I’m sure. She knows about you, and she’s excited. But she
may not be the best looking.”
“I can’t claim that I am, either,” I replied. “And if she’s willing
to go with me, I’d be happy to be her date. I just don’t want her
to expect somebody too exciting.”
“You’ll be wonderful,” Deanna said. “I know you’ll treat her
well. That’s why I asked you.”
Deanna told me a little more about the girl and that her
name was DeeDee. When I hung up, my roommates gathered
around. Bryce, who had answered the phone, had already told
everyone it was Deanna.
“What did she want?” Bryce asked.
Ron’s Auto Glass
“She asked me to the sorority dinner and dance,” I said.
“She asked you, the King of I-can’t-dance?” Bryce asked
incredulously. “She could choose anyone. Why would she
choose you?”
“I’m not her date,” I replied. “I’m going with a friend of hers.”
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“Oh, a blind date,” David said. “Those can be disastrous.
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And if the girl needs someone else to ask for her, she probably
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ing Delbert McLain, our very own Chamber of Commerce. A
“Well, it’s not like I’m the most socially adept, either,” I rebroad smile beameth.
plied.
You know, we’re really proud of Del. Of course, what he’d
“You’ve got a good point there,” Bryce said.
Purchase a 60,000 BTU, 90+ High Efficiency
like to do is make this valley so rich and crowded that none
As the day grew closer, I became more nervous. The girl
of us would want to live here anymore, but at least he works
Furnace and a 2 Ton, 13 SEER Air Conditioner
sounded like a great girl, and I hoped she wouldn’t be disapreally hard at it. We admire hard work.
pointed when she met me. It seemed way too soon that I was
For Only
“Hey Del,” Steve said, “pull up a cup and sit down.”
dressed in my best suit and on my way to Deanna’s apartment.
“Thanks guys,” he said, flipping his necktie over one
When I arrived, I stood there for most of a minute, taking deep
shoulder so it wouldn’t dangle in the coffee. “You heard about
breaths to calm my nerves. Finally, I knocked on the door.
that Spanish billionaire Fortunato Alvarez de Banqueria?”
A girl with frizzy, uncombed hair, wearing a month’s supply
*No other discounts apply
“No,” Doc said. “We don’t keep up on Spanish billionaires,
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of poorly placed makeup, answered. Her dress had probably
afraid.”
been nice when it was new, but it definitely needed ironing.
?Tax Included I’m “See,” Del explained, “he’s this rich guy from Spain …”
She smiled a crooked smile and said, “Hi, I’m DeeDee.”
“Kinda had that part figured out.”
?Wired
I held out my hand. “Hi, I’m Daris.”
“ … and he’s interested in … get this … investing in our
The girl burst out laughing, and I felt confused. Was my
valley Isn’t that something? I mean, it’s still in the tentative
?Installed
name funny? Then, from behind the door, Deanna and a bunch
stages, of course, but the word is, it’s going to happen.”
of other girls all came out dressed in beautiful gowns. They
“What’s going to happen?” Herb said.
?Done
were all laughing, too, and they yelled, “April Fools!”
“The subdivision, of course. The way I heard it …”
I was still confused. Deanna said, “We had Julie dress up
“Hold on, Delbert,” Doc said. “How did you hear it and
and pretend to be your date.”
what did you hear?”
“Oh,” I said. “So I don’t have a date?”
“Sure. You know Carol, comes in the barber shop to
Suddenly the girls all went quiet and looked at each other.
sweep up at night? Well, her cousin’s girlfriend works in the
Deanna took my hand. “Daris, I’m your date. DeeDee is my
city and overheard her bosses talking at break time about
nickname.”
Yankton
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605-665-9461 • 605-624-0034 Fortunato coming over here with some real money. And what
“I’m going with you? But my roommates said you could go
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“And the bosses said, and I got this straight from Carol,
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She squeezed my hand a little tighter and smiled. “And I
NEW!
that the subdivision would probably be somewhere near our
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am. I want to go with you because I like you and I’ve seen how
local landfill and will be called Basura Vista Estates. Think
respectful and kind you are to us girls at church.”
of all the people coming in!
All night I struggled to believe that Deanna would want me
Think of all the road scraping
to be her date. But I had a wonderful time. The food was excelthat will happen! It’s amazlent, and the dancing was fun.
ing!”
When the evening ended, I walked home, almost in a daze.
“What will those new peoWhen I came in, my roommates gathered to hear about my date.
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ple do for jobs?” Doc asked.
“What was she like?” Bryce asked.
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“They’ll scrape in those
Captain Morgan
“My date was actually Deanna,” I said.
roads and build those
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My roommates all looked at each other, then burst out
$
houses, of course,” Del said,
laughing.
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taking a sip of coffee. “It’s the
“Nice try,” Bryce said. “But we know it’s April Fools’ day.”
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American Way.”
I smiled and realized I couldn’t convince them otherwise,
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e & Black
so I didn’t try.
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