103117_YKMV_A2.pdf
October 31, 2017 • Page 2
By
Daris Howard
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A Halloween Cat Attack
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Lenny and his uncle always tried to get the best of each other on Halloween. Most of the
time Lenny’s uncle won, but Lenny never gave up. This year he decided that he had a perfect
plan.
The way he came up with the idea was purely by accident. He decided to take a shortcut
through Old Mrs. Beaton’s yard. Mrs. Beaton always played the part of the fragile widow
woman. But anyone who had ever been chased by her swinging her broom knew better. And
to add to that, she had an old black cat that Lenny was sure was possessed with something,
perhaps it was the same stuff Mrs. Beaton drank.
Whatever it was, on the night Lenny cut through the yard, the cat was waiting for him. It
had climbed the gatepost, and when Lenny went through in the dark, the cat launched out
at him like a panther coming out of a jungle canopy. Lenny barely knew what hit him as he
was knocked to the ground with the hissing, snarling little beast on him. He was still trying to
fend it off and make a break for it when Mrs. Beaton came flying out of her house, swinging
her broom like a cavewoman taking down a mammoth.
That was motivation for Lenny, and he ran nearly a quarter mile down the road with little
black hitchhiker still clawed onto his back. But what annoyed Lenny the most was if anyone
ever mentioned how mean her cat was, Mrs. Beaton always said, “O poppycock. Phantom is
as gentle as a lamb.”
So it was after the latest run-in with Phantom, whom Lenny called “Devil Cat,” that Lenny
got the idea of how he could get his uncle and the cat, too. Of course, no Halloween prank
would be complete without enlisting Butch and Buster, his two neighbor friends.
“You want us to help you do what?” Buster said.
“I need you to help me catch Devil Cat,” Lenny said.
“Are you crazy?” Butch said. “That cat thinks it’s a lion and we’re gazelles.”
Lenny nodded. “I know. That’s why it will be that much more fun.”
With a little bribery, Butch and Buster agreed to help. On Halloween morning, they snuck
behind Mrs. Beaton’s barn. Lenny was carrying his dad’s raccoon trap, and Buster was carrying meat.
“Butch,” Lenny said, “go where Devil Cat can see you, but don’t let Mrs. Beaton catch
you.”
“Why me?” Butch complained.
“Because you’re not doing anything else.”
Butch grudgingly went to act as the trespasser and soon came running back with Phantom close behind. Lenny and Buster had barely gotten the trap set and baited. All three
ran until Phantom quit chasing them. When Phantom headed home, the boys followed at a
distance.
The trap worked just like Lenny had hoped. Phantom smelled the meat and was soon
locked inside. Lenny carried the trapped cat with Butch and Buster following. They circled
wide around Mrs. Beaton’s house. Lenny was glad that she had a long road back into her
house so she wouldn’t see them at her mailbox. They snuck up to the mailbox and released
the snarling cat into it. The mailbox had vents so the cat would be fine, but it hissed and
fumed. Finally, in the dim light inside the mailbox, it went silent.
It was none too soon. The boys had barely hidden when Lenny’s uncle, the new maildelivery person, came driving into view. The boys waited in the willows and watched. Finally
came the moment Lenny had dreamed of. With the car window down, Lenny’s uncle opened
the little mailbox door to stick in the mail.
The cat, seeing a chance to escape, jumped into the car. Finding itself caged, it flew
around the car, ripping everything it could get its claws on. Lenny’s uncle panicked, let off
the brake, then hit it, then let off. The car lurched in zigzags across the road as Lenny’s uncle
tried to fight off the cat and get away from it. Finally, the cat, seeing the open window, left
Lenny’s uncle a few tattoos of her affection for him and jumped to her freedom.
The next Sunday at church, Lenny’s uncle was still sporting some bandages.
“Hey, Uncle, what happened to you?” Lenny asked with a smirk.
“A no-good nephew is what happened,” he replied. “But just you wait! Halloween will
come around again next year.”
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Board Of Regents Brings Town
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SIOUX FALLS, S.D. – A
town meeting on South
Dakota public higher
education is being hosted
Monday, Nov. 6, in Sioux
Falls by the South Dakota
Board of Regents.
The meeting begins
at 4 p.m. in Avera Hall at
University Center-Sioux
Falls, located at 4801 Career Avenue in Sioux Falls.
Representatives of the
South Dakota Board of Regents, its staff, and public
university presidents will
be on hand to visit with
area residents. The public
is invited to attend.
“Our challenge as a
public higher education
system is to produce a
competitive workforce
and build a more robust
economy for our state and
nation,” said Regents President Bob Sutton. “While
charting our future course,
it is very important that
we hear from interested
citizens and community
leaders across South Dakota.”
At the Sioux Falls meeting, regents will discuss
efforts to achieve a statewide attainment goal of 65
percent of South Dakota
citizens, ages 25 to 34,
holding some type of post-
The food’s awfully good down at the Gates of Heaven
Chinese Restaurant. The valley’s other Delbert, Delbert
Chin, has been putting on a decent feed there since he came
to this country many years ago.
We like that lunch buffet. All you can eat, of course, and
he makes this pink sauce that’s out of this world. You can
put it on everything. And you want to.
He asked me once why I used so much of it, and I told
him if I had enough of that sauce, I could live on cardboard
boxes and bedding straw.
But there’s something else about Delbert, too. He is so
proud of how clean his kitchen is, he will drag strangers in
to look at it. We’ve all been in there. At least once a year,
Delbert will say, “You been in my kitchen? You come look.”
And we do. If he doesn’t recognize you as a local, you definitely will get the kitchen tour. He insists we run our fingers
along the top of the stove’s grease hood. We run paper towels behind the big stainless fridges. Under the stoves, too.
Especially under the stoves. No grease, no dust, nothing.
And he grins at the astonishment on our faces. But he keeps
two teenage boys fairly busy cleaning – I mean scrubbing –
that kitchen every day. You can tell when they’re working,
because you can hear Delbert shouting instructions.
Oh, we have the usual health inspectors, as everyone
does. But they don’t really need to go in there, and they
know it. They’ll never red tag the Gates of Heaven. At any
rate, Delbert knows customers have their own ways of red
tagging a place that’s less than spotless, too.
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secondary credential by
2025. This goal addresses
a full range of educational
attainment from technical
certificates and apprenticeships to associate,
bachelor, and graduate
degrees.
Also on the agenda is
information from a recent
economic impact study,
co-sponsored by the South
Dakota Chamber of Commerce & Industry and the
regents, that shows public
universities increase South
Dakota’s gross domestic
product by $2.66 billion a
year.
Local Foods
Connects
Consumers
To Growers
BROOKINGS, S.D. - Consumers who want to know
more about where and
how their food is raised
are creating a bigger voice
nationally.
"The increasing sales
of local foods provides a
bright spot for agriculture
and a way to bring young
farmers into agricultural
production," said Kari
O'Neill, SDSU Extension
Community Vitality Field
Specialist.
O'Neill referenced a U.S.
Department of Agriculture
statistic which found more
than 160,000 U.S. farmers
sold $8.7 billion of local
food directly to consumers,
retailers, institutions, and
local distributors in 2015.
Of those producers 81
percent sold all their food
within 100 miles of their
farm.
"In rural communities,
boosting local and regional
markets can have a great
impact on local economies
and help keep rural families
on the farm," O'Neill said.
"New farmers can produce
more food products on
fewer acres and add value
to operations that may
have been in the family
for years, or on new land
where creativity in growing products for sale can
provide a good income."
To aid American farmers wishing to sell local,
Congresswomen Chellie
Pingree of Maine introduced a bipartisan bill that
would ease some of the
hurdles small farmers face
in the direct marketing of
food products they raise.
Readers who want to learn
more can read about this in
a Morning Ag Clips article
found here.
To learn more about
South Dakota's local food
initiatives, contact O'Neill
by email.
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