May 2, 2017 • Page 2 shop online at www.missourivalleyshopper.com The Not Funny Practical Joke Dave Says By Daris Howard Don’t Compromise Your Emergency Fund Ethics and Integrity Dear Dave, My wife and I are debt-free, and we’re ready to start building our first home. We’re a little short on cash to make the 20 percent down payment you recommend, but we do have a fully funded emergency fund in place. Would it be okay to take a little out of our emergency fund to make up the difference? Chris Dear Dave, I’ll be getting out of the military soon, and I want to open a coffee roastery in civilian life. I had planned to work at an established place like Starbucks for a while so I can learn the business. Recently, I’ve become concerned with this idea from an ethical point of view. Can you give me some guidance? Wayne Dear Wayne, First, thank you for your service. The fact that you have enough integrity to even think about this means you’re a conscientious, honest person. I think you’re going to be okay. Making and serving coffee is not a proprietary set of information. It’s done all over the world by lots of people, so you’re not violating any ethics by doing that. Now there would definitely be something wrong with you stealing another company’s exact recipes or logo, but I think you already knew that. There’s nothing wrong with learning how to make different coffee drinks that are made all over the world. Starbucks doesn’t have a corner on that. There are coffeehouses all across America these days, so there’s no ethics breach. Just understand what’s proprietary about a company or a brand, and don’t duplicate that. Best of luck to you, sir! — Dave Dear Chris, Well, you didn’t give me exact numbers here. I don’t know how short a little short is, and I don’t know how Dave big your emergency fund is. If you use a little of your emergency fund to round off the 20 percent and then you have an emergency, where are you going to be? I recommend always having three to six months of expenses set aside for emergencies. If you’ve got $50,000 in your emergency fund and you use $10,000 of it, you’ll be fine. But anything that leaves you with less than three or four months of expenses stashed away would worry me. That’s the way you’ve got to look at it. Just use a little common sense with the numbers. I’d love for you to put down 20 percent because you’d avoid private mortgage insurance (PMI), which runs about $75 a month per $100,000 borrowed. It costs you a lot of money if you don’t put down 20 percent. You should try to do that if possible, but don’t be irresponsible with your emergency fund in the process. Your emergency fund, when it’s there, tends to keep emergencies away. When it’s not there, you have a tendency to attract emergencies and your life starts to sound like a sad country song! — Dave RAMSEY * Dave Ramsey is America’s trusted voice on money and business, and CEO of Ramsey Solutions. He has authored seven bestselling books, including The Total Money Makeover. The Dave Ramsey Show is heard by more than 12 million listeners each week on 575 radio stations and multiple digital platforms. Follow Dave on Twitter at @DaveRamsey and on the web at daveramsey.com. Gov. Daugaard Appoints Strawn As Fourth Circuit Judge My daughter, Elliana, enjoys her junior high choir. She loves to sing, and her music teacher is fun. But as is true with most classes, there are a lot of inside jokes. I’m not sure why it’s so funny to give her teacher high-heeled shoes, but I know it’s some class joke, and the uglier, and the higher the heel, the better. So whenever we went to a second-hand store, Elliana looked for the oldest, ugliest, most out-of-style high-heeled shoes she could find. We had gone to the local thrift shop and had even stopped by second-hand stores in other towns, but there was nothing that was just right. The concert was drawing near, and neither she nor her friends had found what they wanted. Just a day before the concert, we made one last trip to the store. She looked through the shoe section, but the right shoes weren’t there. There were some fairly stylish high heels. But they were too pretty, and the heel wasn’t tall enough for whatever reason made them a joke. She was disappointed. But then we saw something that gave us an idea. There was a clerk there taking some shoes off of the shelves and putting on others. We asked him if there were any shoes that they would throw away. He nodded. “We have some that we display for a time, but if they are ugly, or just don’t sell, we don’t leave them too long before we remove them and make room for others.” “Can we look at them?” I asked. He shrugged. “I don’t see why not. I probably couldn’t just give them to you because my boss wouldn’t like it, but I would charge you the minimum price of a dollar.” He showed us a big, fifty-gallon drum that was at the end of the shoe aisle. That was where he put them until he hauled them to the dumpster. Elliana rummaged through the shoes. She was almost to the bottom of the barrel when she let out a delighted squeal. She pulled out a pair of pink, old-fashioned high heels. The heels on them were about six inches tall, and the shoes had some dangling silver chains across the toes. They were about the ugliest things I had ever seen. She held them up. “Dad, what do you think?” “What I think,” I replied, “is that it is unbelievable that anyone would wear them. But since they are at a secondhand store, someone must have. Beauty must be in the eye of the purchaser.” We showed them to the clerk, and he looked at us like we were crazy. “I don’t think I can charge you the minimum price for those. How about a quarter?” I nodded, and he marked twenty-five cents on a tag and put it on them. We took them to the checkout, and the girl there gave us a strange look. “They’re for a joke,” Elliana said. The girl smiled, we paid our quarter plus tax, and we were soon on our way with the perfect prank gift. The next day was the concert. When it ended, Elliana and her friends invited the teacher to join them at the front of the stage. They handed him the gift bag with the shoes in it. When he pulled the shoes out and held them up, all of the choir members laughed. As people were leaving, a well-dressed lady came up and confronted Elliana. “And just what is so funny about those shoes?” Laughing, Elliana said, “It’s just an inside joke about getting our teacher the ugliest shoe that we can find with the most ridiculously high . . .” Elliana stopped. The lady wasn’t smiling, and Elliana suddenly realized the lady was wearing a pair of shoes exactly like the ones they had given to their teacher. “What I mean,” Elliana said, faltering for words, “is they weren’t necessarily ugly for a woman, but they wouldn’t work for a man.” The woman finally left in a huff, and Elliana breathed a sigh of relief. She felt she had really stuck her foot in her mouth because, for that lady, it was one high-heeled joke that had fallen flat. “Well,” said Steve, the tall cowboy among us, “at least it’s Friday and we all have the weekend to look forward to.” Doc glanced up from his paper at the philosophy counter of the Mule Barn truck stop and world dilemma think tank. PIERRE, S.D. – Gov. Dennis Daugaard announced today “Fastest Friday you’ll ever experience, Steve,” said Doc. that he will appoint Magistrate Judge Eric J. Strawn as “That’s about right,” said Dud. a circuit court judge in South Dakota’s Fourth Circuit Steve got that confounded look on his face. “What do Court. you mean by that?” “I thank Judge Strawn for accepting this appoint“Today is Saturday.” ment,” said Gov. Daugaard. “Judge Strawn is a highly“Well,” Steve said, shaking his head, “that flat wrecks this day all to pieces. regarded magistrate judge with a true commitment to “Hey,” said Dud, “it’s a pretty day. You have all day long public service. He will be an excellent circuit judge.” Strawn will fill a vacancy created by the recent retire- to enjoy it.” “But don’t you see?” Steve said. “I was planning to spend ment of Hon. Jerome A. Eckrich. The Fourth Circuit includes Butte, Corson, Dewey, Harding, Lawrence, Meade, all day Friday getting ready for Saturday and now I can’t.” “Now that sounds kinda dumb,” Dud said, “and I realize Perkins and Ziebach counties. that, but Steve does have a point. I mean, we think in terms “I am humbled and honored to be appointed to this of time …” position and look forward to serving the people of the Doc groaned. Fourth Circuit and western South Dakota,” Judge Strawn “…yea, verily … time and space and the continuum said. thereof, henceforth and forevermore. That’s why, when our Strawn currently serves as a magistrate judge in the pal Steve here thought about Saturday, it was as though Fourth Circuit, a position he has held since 2013, and Saturday lay in the future, where things are to happen that operates the circuit’s DUI Court. Prior to that service, we, as mere mortals, are loath to know …” he worked in private practice for eight years, working in “Dud,” said Steve, “you been watching Nova again?” both civil and criminal law. Strawn served as a special Dud blushed. “It was a good show. It concerned the assistant attorney general for child support enforcement string theory and fusion and the way all these marvelous and as a child support referee. He has also served since things come together to make up our lives and Einstein and 2006 as a member of the Fourth Circuit Mental Health the total something-or-other. I forget all the little stuff, but Board. it was pretty good. Had to do with the Big Bang and all that Strawn is a veteran of the United States Marine Corps, junk. Do you realize that when you look at a star at night, it serving from 1993 to 1997. Strawn is a 2001 graduate of might not be there? That star might have blown up and died a million years ago.” Black Hills State University and a 2004 graduate of the “So how can you tell if it’s still there?” asked Steve. University of South Dakota School of Law. Following “Have no idea,” Dud said. “Might have talked about that law school, he worked as a law clerk for Hon. Warren G. while I was up getting coffee.” Johnson, at the time the presiding judge in the Fourth Steve grinned and tossed off the last of his coffee. Circuit. “Well, I’d better be getting along. I’m running late as it He lives in Spearfish with his wife, Raquelle, and their PIERRE, S.D. – Since World War I, South Dakota has is.” children, Maquelle and Mickey. paid a bonus to residents who served on active duty “So what are you up to today, Steve?” said Doc. during a wartime period and this tradition continues “Getting ready for Sunday.” Veterans May Apply For Bonus Buy • Sell • Trade Quality... USED Cars, There’s something for everyone... 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