October 7, 2014 • Page 2 shop online at www.missourivalleyshopper.com Dave Says You Can’t Afford The Master’s Degree By Dave Ramsey We can blame it all on watermelon and pumpkin pie. Both are delicious and American, and both come from gourds. That’s the problem, you see. Cooks all over the world therefore think that other gourds can be made edible, too. Gourds, for example, like squash. Squash. One of the English language’s most painful words, along with maim and trauma and rend and okra and Liberace. Why would anyone want to eat something that sounds as though someone sat on it? The bottom-line truth is, cooks all over the place love a challenge, and they have tried valiantly to turn squash into an edible dish. To do this, they take one tenth of a portion of squash, boil as much of the squashiness as they can out of it, then immerse it in ninetenths something that tastes good and hope no one will notice. You know, stuff like chile, mutton, edible vegetables, nuclear waste, cottonwood bark and even chocolate. Then, when you can’t taste the squash in it, and most of the slime has settled to the bottom, they smile and say, “How do you like my ‘Squash Canneloni ala Hershey con Brio?” They even try to fool people who might consider buying squash into thinking it tastes like something else. Something like butter. Or acorns. Or crooked necks. Hey, I’ll take a crooked neck over a squash any day. Makes you wonder what crime against mankind Mr. Zucchini committed to be forever more squashdamned in the history Dear Dave, My husband books. makes about Let’s face it; squash is an $35,000 a year unwanted growth on an oth- before taxes, and erwise perfectly good vine. It we have one starts with a pretty little child. We’ve also blossom that inspires Navajo got a mortgage jewelry and attracts bees. and $60,000 in Then it begins its insidious student loan debt. Dave malignancy into something About a year ago, that should probably be sur- my husband startgically removed. ed work on a masBut it’s fall now. Autumn, ter’s degree, that time of year when chilbecause he thinks dren play in the lazy sunhe wants to teach when he shine and squash vines go retires. He quit school after belly up. And when we enjoy the baby was born, because our pumpkin pie and jack he didn’t think we could o’lanterns, we’ll smile quiet- afford it any longer. I think ly, knowing we’ll once again he should finish the degree. be squash free for a few Otherwise, he’s just throwblessed months. ing away the $10,000 we’ve already got invested in the --------program. What do you Brought to you by “Saddle think? Up: A Cowboy Guide to — Writing,” at lpdpress.com. Amanda Dear Amanda, You guys need to clean up the mess you’ve made before he goes after his master’s degree. You might be able to justify it if the degree immediately raised his income, but you two can’t afford to make investments in vague educational goals right now. If you want to call it throwing the money away, then yeah, throw it away. But I’m not sure the money has been wasted. The classes he has already taken are complete and on record, so why can’t he finish the degree somewhere down the road? You guys have done a poor job of planning, and now you need to climb out of a big hole before you do anything else. The point is not the RAMSEY AUTO & TRUCK REPAIR SHOP AUCTION Saturday, Oct. 11 • 10:00am LOCATION: SHOP EQUIPMENT: LG. TRUCK & SEMI PARTS: $10,000, Amanda. The point is that you’re barely making ends meet. You’ve already got a house payment and $60,000 in student loan debt hanging over your heads, not to mention the added expense of a baby in the house. The last thing you need is to go even deeper into debt for something he won’t even use until retirement. That’s just silly. I’m all for education, but you’ve got to plan things and get a better payback on your educational spending. That’s when it becomes an investment. But he doesn’t need to even think about a master’s degree until you guys have first straightened out your finances! —Dave ASSET ALLOCATION Dear Dave, Can you explain the “asset allocation” theory when it comes to investing? —Matthew Dear Matthew, The asset allocation theory is one touted by lots of people in the financial community. It’s also a theory with which I disagree. In short, the asset allocation theory means that you invest aggressively while you’re young. Then as you get older, you move toward less aggressive funds. If you follow this theory to the letter, you’re left pretty much with money markets and bonds by the time you’re 65. The reason I don’t believe in this theory is simple. It doesn’t work. If you live to age 65 and are in good health, there’s a high statistical likelihood that you’ll make it to 95. The average age of death for males in this country is now 76, but that includes infant mortality and teenage deaths. So, a healthy 65-year-old man in America can look at having another quarter century on earth. If you move your money to bonds and money markets at age 65, inflation is going to kick your tail. Your money will grow slower than it will devalue, and you’ll have little purchasing power. That’s the problem with the asset allocation methodology. I advise investing in good, growth stock mutual funds that have strong track records of at least five to ten years. Spread your money across four types of funds: growth, growth and income, aggressive growth and international. These groups provide diversification across risk, as well as a little splash overseas. Great question, Matthew! —Dave ——— Dave Ramsey is America’s trusted voice on money and business. 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