shop online at www.missourivalleyshopper.com October 11, 2016• Page 11 The Dating Coach 2 Great Tips for Seasoned Tailgaters By Daris Howard Rod considered himself the best ladies’ man in the high school, and he decided to prove it. He claimed he could turn Dennis, the school nerd, into a social Duan Juan. Lenny was foremost to express his doubt, but we were all interested in the experiment. The first thing Rod did was to get Dennis to lift weights. Rod convinced Dennis that he needed muscles and that girls liked the smell of sweat. We had our reservations, but after a couple of weeks of waddling sorely into class, Dennis’s physique did seem to be changing slightly. “Hey, Dennis,” Lenny said, “is there actually a muscle where your biceps are or is that just a nasty pimple?” Dennis grinned. “I have gone from benching thirty pounds clear up to fifty. See?” With that, he flexed his biceps. Lenny slapped Dennis on the back. “You’re right. It’s slightly bigger than a pimple.” I had to admit that Rod’s coaching seemed to be working. With the added muscle, Dennis was also gaining confidence, and the confidence was more important than the muscle. Rod decided it was time to work on Dennis’s conversation skills. “Okay, Dennis,” Rod said, “let’s pretend I’m a girl and you want to talk to me. What are you going to say?” Lenny spoke before Dennis could. “What I would say is that you are one ugly girl.” “Buzz off,” Rod said to Lenny. He then turned back to Dennis. “Okay, give it a try.” Dennis thought for a moment, and then he smiled as an idea obviously came to him. “What do you think about the quadratic formula in algebra? Pretty cool, huh?” Most of the guys rolled their eyes, and Rod just shook his head. “Look, Dennis,” Rod said, “you’ve got to talk about what the girl is interested in.” “But I don’t know what girls are interested in,” Dennis replied. “Then just do this. Let her do the talking, and you just agree with her. Let’s try it. Okay, so pretend I’m the girl and I say, ‘It’s a beautiful night for a walk.’” “But it’s supposed to rain tonight,” Dennis said. Rod breathed a big sigh. “It doesn’t really matter, Dennis. Just agree with her.” They practiced again with Rod saying something and Dennis agreeing with the statement. As they continued to practice, Lenny sidled up to me. “I’ll bet you your dessert from lunch that this is going to end badly. Girls never think or say what you expect them to.” I had to agree, but still, I couldn’t help but take the bet, especially as I watched Dennis pour his whole heart into his training. Rod continued to have Dennis lift weights and practice the phrase and agreement process at every lunch hour. We were all ready to see Dennis make his attempt, but Rod wasn’t taking any chances. He planned to try out every phrase he thought a girl might say and make sure Dennis’s responses were perfect. Finally, after a couple of weeks of practice, Rod could think of no new phrases, and Dennis was hitting the ones thrown at him spot on. I was even beginning to think I might win Lenny’s dessert. The big day finally arrived, and Rod made sure Dennis’s hair and clothes were aligned. Dennis then walked across the cafeteria to Missy, the girl he hoped to ask on a date. The rest of us tried to act like we were nonchalantly eating as we watched. It all seemed to be going well for Dennis, and he and Missy were even eating lunch together. Rod was grinning, sure of his success, when Missy suddenly slapped Dennis, knocking his glasses off, and causing him to drop his lunch tray. Janitors scurried to clean up the mess, and Dennis hurried back to our table. “What happened?” Rod demanded. “Well, I agreed with her on everything like you taught me. But then she said something we hadn’t practiced.” “Did you agree with her on it?” Rod asked. “Yes,” Dennis replied. “What did she say?” I asked, as I reluctantly handed Lenny my cinnamon roll. “She said, ‘I think these school lunches are making me fat,’” Dennis replied. (StatePoint) Tailgating season is here, and while you may want to refer to last year’s playbook, new tools and tips can help make this your best season yet. Stay Comfortable There are a few simple things you can do to make comfort and safety a priority while tailgating. Number one is to pack plenty of water in order to keep everyone hydrated. Whether you use an umbrella, a pop-up tent or simply arrive early to seek out a leafy corner of the lot, make sure your space includes some shade. And don’t forget the sunscreen. Be sure to check the weather report and prepare ahead with the right gear and clothing. Lastly, it may not be the most fun item on your game day packing checklist, but it could be the most important. Always bring along a first aid kit that includes all the basics. It’s always better to be too prepared. Keep Food Fresh Don’t let your party foods fall victim to common tailgating woes. Even in an icy cooler, go-to, crowd-pleasing dips can be particularly susceptible to browning and drying out after a few hours. Prevent the degradation of guacamole and other dips by storing them in smart individual containers designed to keep foods fresh. For example, the new Guac-Lock from Casabella works differently from standard food storage containers. Made from shatterproof, odor-proof and stain-resistant plastic, the container locks in place and allows users to squeeze out excess air. It’s great for entertaining too, as it features a push-up mechanism that keeps the container looking full, and comes with an optional chip tray. fcsamerica.com THERE’S A REASON REAL ESTATE BUYERS LAND WITH US. AUCTIONS How Boomers are Disrupting the Housing Market (StatePoint) As the Boomer population ages and retires, massive shifts in the housing market are to be expected. One current popular trend with these older Americans is manufactured housing in landlease communities, where homes are placed on leased land and the overall price of the home is lower than other types of homes. And many of these communities offer senior-friendly amenities. “While land-lease communities are popular with people of all ages, those over 55 may particularly appreciate the affordability and lifestyle benefits they deliver,” says Richard Jennison, president and CEO of the Manufactured Housing Institute. Manufactured homes can cost an average of $68,000, compared with $276,000 for a singlefamily site-built home. There’s also more home for the buck: as they often cost up to 20 percent less per square foot than site-built homes, with comparable interior finishes. For those who are retired or approaching retirement, affordability is a significant factor to consider. Additionally, such homes are quite easy to customize over time in order to meet the changing needs and abilities of an individual. Furthermore, many land-lease communities on which manufactured homes are situated are dedicated to those over 55 years old, and some come with amenities like community clubhouses with scheduled activities, exercise facilities, swimming pools and lakes for boating and fishing. Boomers and retirees who are anticipating less mobility in the years to come are finding communities with “everything at their fingertips” to be a built-in defense against isolation, and a convenient and practical alternative to a conventional neighborhood. Well-groomed grounds, and nice landscaping, common to these communities, can provide convenience to those possibly unable of doing their own yardwork. Information about these types of manufactured homes and communities can be found at facebook.com/Manufactured-Housing-Institute. “If you are looking for a home in which to age-in-place, don’t rule out a manufactured home in a land-lease community,” says Jennison. “They offer a neighborly environment with a strong sense of community.” Ambitious tailgaters can now make their dips ahead of time, without worrying that the look and flavor of their creations will fade over time. Make Noise If stadium rules permit, consider bringing along a wireless speaker system to pump up your favorite jams. Ensure your system is compatible with your phone’s technology. Waterproof options exist, and are always a great bet for all kinds of weather. Create a playlist in advance that will get you and your friends ready for the game. It may be helpful to make friends with your tailgating neighbors to reduce your chances of dueling sound systems. With a few simple suggestions, you can make your next tailgating party a great success. When you ?nance farmland with us, you aren’t just another customer – you are a customer-owner. So along with our attractive rates and exceptional terms, you get a voice in how we work and a share of what we earn in the form of cash-back dividends. Call us to learn more. Mildred Slama Auction Sunday, October 16, 2016 (rain date: October 23) 514 W. 16th, Yankton, SD • 12:30 Auctioneers Note: Mildred is moving and is selling her household of really nice clean furniture, antiques, snowblower and car! Everything is clean and in very nice condition. Check our Facebook page for pictures. Furniture and Appliances: China hutch, very nice oak 3 pc. Bedroom set with nice Serta, 1 yr. old Whirlpool washer and dryer, cedar chest, glider rocker w/foot stool, sofa, blue chairs, table with 2 chairs with rollers, 3 pc. Blonde bedroom set with nice Serta bed, rolling closet, 2 double beds, iron bed frame, tall Liberty safe, 2 sentry safes floor models, card table with 4 chairs, nice metal desk, oak TV stand. Household Items: Singer surging machine #14U34 ultra lock, patterns, cutting board, household dishes, small kitchen appliances, blankets, towels, paper shredder. Antiques and Collectibles: oak buffet, washstand, dresser with mirror, Imperial #2 steam iron, Tudor plate silverware set, GI Joe and other dolls, buttons, pictures, crock. Gun, Snowblower and miscellaneous: Ted Williams Model 3T 22 cal. Rifle, John Deere snow blower model TRS22 with electric start, alum. Step ladder, windmill, standing shelving, small hand tools, yard and garden tools, weed eater, lawn hose cart, red yard wagon, extension ladder, bench mate, Craftsman circular saw, humidifier, garden seat. Car: 2002 Buick LeSabre, Limited edition, 88,000 miles, 3.8 loaded and has On-star. Very nice clean car-Mildred is the only owner and has taken good care of it with regular maintenance and has record of maintenance. Sherry Soukup-Neuharth - Auctioneer “The Auctioneer who works for you!” 605-665-5266 office • 605-669-3931 cell AUCTION Saturday, Oct. 15 -- 11 a.m. LOCATED: Spring?eld Community Center in Spring?eld, SD HOUSEHOLD: Corel ware dishes; Pots; Pans; Cookie Pans; Stampin’ Up supplies; Craft supplies; Wilton cake pans; Casseroles; Utensils; Punch bowls; Pressure cooker; Décor; Tupperware; Coolers; Christmas dishes; Camping dishes; Bakers rack; Desk; File cabinets; Folding tables; Dining room table and chairs; Tents; Ext ladders; Misc hand tools; Many more household items too numerous to mention. ANTIQUES AND COLLECTABLES: US Marine dress; Sword and case; Depression glass; Frankoma; McCoy pieces; Fire King; Pyrex; German tea set; Milk glass; Hull salt and pepper; Noritake; Marigold carnival glass; Vases; Avon; Radios; Grain belt bottles; Pocket hand warmer; Records; Many childrens books including Whiman, Wonderbooks, Dr Suess; Toys & Board games; SnapOn collectable mugs and cups; Corvair car books; Kingsburg Grain & Feed collectables and toys; Ertl toys; Plus more collectables. All items are clean and well cared for. Darrell & Sandy DeFries, Owners Peterson Auctioneers Glen Peterson, RE #234 www.petersonauctioneers.com Lee Wittmeier - Tyndall, SD Cody Peterson - Avon, SD TERMS: Cash Not Responsible for Accidents Home and Contents at AUCTION Saturday, Oct. 22 -- 11 a.m. LOCATED: 1416 N. Maple Street, Avon, SD 1 block east of Baptist Church REAL ESTATE SELLS FIRST - Real Estate consists of a 976 square foot 1 story, 2 bedroom home with 768 square foot basement, insulated 1 car attached garage and 1 car detached garage-shop. Situated on a 100x140 corner lot, this home offers vinyl siding, propane heat and central air. This one has had the utmost care and maintenance, ready to move into. LEGAL DESCRIPTION: Lots 15 and 16, Block 12, Janssans 3rd Addition. TR10-5-2c TERMS & CONDITIONS: $7,500 non-refundable down payment day of auction with balance due at closing. Title Insurance and closing service fees split 50-50 between buyer and seller. 2016 Real Estate taxes prorated to closing. Possession upon receipt of ?nal payment. Announcements day of auction take precedence over promotional material. Peterson Auctioneers are representing seller. A complete listing of personal property will be published at a later date. YANKTON OFFICE: 605-665-9675 OR 800-658-3631 Bon Homme County, South Dakota LAND AUCTION 100+ Acres Wednesday, Oct. 26 -- 10 a.m. Auction to be held at the site located: at the junction of Highway 37 & 299th Street, 1 mile east of Danzig Baptist Church or from Avon, SD, 4 miles east and 4 miles north Real Estate consists of 100+/- acres of productive Franklin T ownship Farmland. FSA shows 93.5 acres cropland with the balance being hay meadow. This tract has 46.8 acre corn base with yield of 102 bushels and a soybean base of 46.7 acres with a 38 bushel yield. This level to gently sloping farmland offers a good location with Highway 37 frontage, centrally located between sveral grain markets. LEGAL DESCRIPPTION: N1/2 of the NE1/4 and the N1/3 of the S1/2 of NE1/4 18-95-60 TERMS & CONDITIONS: 15% non-refundable down payment day of auction with balance due at closing on or before December 1, 2016. Title Insurance and closing service fees split 50-50 between buyer and seller. 2016 RE taxes will be paid by seller. Possession March 1, 2017. Announcements day of auction take precedence over printed material. Peterson Auctioneers are representing sellers. Don Janssen, Owner Peterson Auctioneers Glen Peterson, RE #234 www.petersonauctioneers.com Lee Wittmeier - Tyndall, SD Cody Peterson - Avon, SD For more information call Glen Peterson at 605-369-2638 or Cody Peterson 605-682-1652 TR10-5-3C Country Home, Acreages, Personal Property AUCTION Saturday, Oct. 29 -- 10 a.m. LOCATED: 41432 15th Street, Spring?eld, SD (1/4 mile west of Mike Durfee State Prison) REAL ESTATE WILL SELL FIRST Parcel 1 sells at 10 am. Parcel 2 will sell following personal property at its location. PARCEL 1: Real Estate consists of a 1640 sq ft 1 story 3 bedroom home with 1 car detached garage and storage building. This beautiful home features a full basement, propane heat, central air, new roof, paint and eaves, alum siding and 2 new decks. Built in 1962, this very clean well maintained home has a nice ?oor plan with a large kitchen, large master bedroom with full bath plus another full bath on main ?oor. Situated on 2.26 acres this property offers a super location, lots of privacy with the convenience of being close to town. LEGAL DESCRIPTION: Lots 4&5 in W 1/2 of NE 1/4 of NW 1/4 of 23-93-60 less the E18’ of Lot 5 Bon Homme Co SD. TERMS & CONDITIONS: $10,000 non-refundable down payment day of auction with balance due at closing. Title Insurance and closing service fees split 50-50 between buyer and seller. 2016 taxes prorated to closing. Possession upon receipt of ?nal payment. Announcements day of auction take precedence over printed material. Peterson Auctioneers are representing seller. Real Estate may be viewed by appointment. Call Glen Peterson 605-369-2638 or Cody Peterson 605-682-1652. PARCEL 2: Located from Spring?eld, SD 4 miles west on Highway 37 then 1 mile west on 312nd Street. This tract consists of 1.34 unimproved acres in Perkins, SD. TR A complete listing of personal property will appear at a later date. 10 12 2c Mrs. Leo (Irene) Kocmich, Owner Janice Schneider, Owner Peterson Auctioneers Glen Peterson, RE #234 www.petersonauctioneers.com Lee Wittmeier - Tyndall, SD Cody Peterson - Avon, SD For more information on real estate call Glen Peterson, 605-369-2638 TERMS: Cash Not Responsible for Accidents Lunch served by Avon Kids Club Peterson Auctioneers Glen Peterson, RE #234 www.petersonauctioneers.com Lee Wittmeier - Tyndall, SD Cody Peterson - Avon, SD Real Estate may be viewed by appointment call Glen Peterson 605-369-2638 or Cody Peterson 605-682-1652