August 20, 2013 • Page 3 shop online at www.missourivalleyshopper.com If you don’t get the word out about your business, no one else will!!! “Sanctimonious siphons, it’s hot!” said Dud, sitting at the philosophy counter and turning over his coffee cup for action with a single smooth move. Dud is a regular at the Mule Barn truck stop’s legendary world dilemma think tank. “Epithet time again, Dudley?” said Doc. “Epithets and heat time, Doc. When that heat comes along, the only thing that can really change an attitude is a properly tuned epithet. It’s man’s emotional release valve, but of course you know that, being a doctor and all.” Dud doctored his coffee and took a sip. “Right?” “Oh …” said Doc, “right … of course. We took Epithets 1A and 1B in medical school, naturally. ‘Emotional release valves and their perfection’ they were called. I got an A in Epithetology for the Masses in my third year, too.” “You’re just putting me on.” “Maybe.” “Let’s look for a moment,” chimed in Bert, “at why epithets are so good for the soul.” “He’s going to wave his arms again,” whispered Doc to Dud. “I’m afraid so…” “Yes,” said Bert, “epithets, particularly those where no swearing is involved, are like a frustrated man’s crossword puzzle. They bring out enough cleverness and creativity in a man to pour salve on whatever it is that’s bugging the bejeesus out of him.” “I know I feel better with salve poured on my bejeesus,” said Doc, nod- ding. “First thing I do in the morning, after coffee,” said Dud. “Well, here comes Steve,” Doc said, as all eyes turned to the cowboy who looked wise, in the way a caffeinestarved owl looks wise. “He’ll pour some salve and sense on this entire situation. “Mornin’ Steve,” said Dud. “What’s going on?” “Bilious blasphemers, it’s hot today!” said Steve. The groaning continued, off and on, through the toast course. --------Saying Huh? and missing words can make you look old. Hearing clearly with virtually invisible hearing aids makes you look young! Call BELTONE at 1-866-867-8700 to schedule your FREE hearing screening. 24 HOUR EMERGENCY SERVICE J&H CLEANING SERVICES MORE Herb Danner, Owner/Operator CARPET SERVICES: VALUE • Carpet Cleaning • Upholstery Cleaning • Stain Removal • Water Damage Restoration • Equipment Rentals COMMERCIAL RESIDENTIAL JANITORIAL SERVICES: • Nightly - Weekly - Monthly • Tile Floors - Stripping & Wax • Total Office Cleaning • References Available INSURED & BONDED SERVING YANKTON AND SURROUNDING AREA SINCE 1994 CALL TODAY FOR FREE ESTIMATE! 665-2571 OR 661-9211 Permanent Storage Facilities Great for: Grain, Livestock, Hay, Equipment & More! For Your Advertising Dollar Missouri Valley Shopper Classifieds IN PRINT & ONLINE www.missourivalleyshopper.com 10% off ALL 24’, 30’, 36’ & 44’ Farm Show Special • July 29th Sept. 20 Manufactured in Springfield, SD To place your ad, call: Sales/Service from Start to Finish! Rushmore Buildings 605-665-5884 42075 Apple Tree Rd. • Springfield, SD 57062 email: hardysteffen@hcinet.net 605-661-6969 “The Can-Do Crew” 319 Walnut • Yankton, SD Liquor Specials Call Classi?eds 665-5884 109 W. 3rd St. in Downtown Yankton www.yanktonr exall.com One & two bedroom apartments. Scotland Apartments, 821 Main St. Scotland, SD 57059. Laundry. Rental assistance available to those who qualify. For appointments or applications please call 605-624-5218 or visit www.oakleafpm.com. Equal Housing Opportunity Old Millwaukee & Light Convert Your Unwanted Gold & Silver & Receive Your Cash Today • Coins-Gold, Silver & Platinum • Bullion-Gold, Silver & Platinum • Silver Flat Ware • Silver Jewelry • Gold Jewelry • Broken Chains • Old Rings • Bracelets • Dental Gold 2901 Broadway, Suite E Next to Sears Yankton, SD 57078 Windsor 1.75 mL 30pks 14.99 $ 15.59 $ 605-260-4653 Ancient Age Wed., Thurs., Fri. 10AM-5PM, Sat. 10AM-4PM www.midwestgold-silver.com Burnetts Vodka 1.75 mL 18.99 $ ELECTRIC CART – TRAILER - BOAT – TILLER – TOOLS ROCK SAWS – ROCK POLISHERS - GUNS – MISC. 1.75 mL 12.99 $ FREE Customer Parking 605-665-7865 Hours Monday-Friday 8:30-6:00 Saturday 9:00-4:30 Price Effective August 20th - 26th, 2013 Check Our Website for SPECIAL COUPONS in our Toy and Gift Departments ESTATE AUCTION In order to settle our Dad’s Estate, we will sell the following at auction at 248 North Shore Court, Swan Lake located from Hurley SD 2 south, 1 west on Hwy 18, 1 south, 1?4 east and 1?4 south on: TUESDAY, AUGUST 27TH 4:00pm Thursday, Aug. 29 -- 5 p.m. Ridge Kitchen Lunch Wagon ELECTRIC CART – TRAILER - BOAT – GUNS – SPORTING GOODS – HOUSEHOLD ITEMS Pace Saver Electric “Pass Port” cart/scooter w/ new batteries; 2003 Carry On 4 x 7 Utility trailer; 1975 Alumacraft 16’ fishing boat w/Mercury 25 Hp motor and trailer; 1917 Eddystone US Military 30.06 cal. Bolt auction rifle w/sling; Remington #141 pump 35 cal. Rifle w/sling, mint condition; H&R 223 cal. Single shot rifle w/NCSTAR scope; Stevens #87A nylon 22 cal. Auto rifle; Stevens/Savage #94 single shot 20 ga. 3” shotgun; metal ammo boxes; rods & reels; tackle; tackle boxes; Eden Pure heater; Sylvania 20” flat screen TV; VCR; DVD player; cameras; wood dinette table w/2 chairs; wood end tables; oak end & coffee tables; wood TV stand; single and double beds, complete; night stand; lamps; records; tapes; craft supplies; desktop computer w/printer-fax-scanner-copier; ROCK SAWS – ROCK TUMBLERS & POLISHERS – TOOLS – TILLER – GARAGE ITEMS Panther LSS 14P Lapidary slab stone saw; Shopbuilt rock chop saw; Loritone rock grinder polisher; shopbuilt rock finish saw; Taurus Ring rock saw; Diamond rock band saw; Covington rock belt sander; 2 – rock tumbler/polishers; lots of precut rock stock; ceramic tile saw; Craftsman 10” table saw; Craftsman 11” band saw; Craftsman 1/3 Hp belt sander; Craftsman 7 Hp 19” rear tine tiller; 2 – Craftsman shop vacs; 3 1?2 Hp lawn mower; chain saws; weed eaters; rigid pipe thread cutter; B&D workmate step ladder; aluminum ext. ladder; gas cans; rolling cart; tool boxes; large asst. of power hand tools; electric motors; asst. of nuts, bolts, screws & nails; shelving units; large asst. of hand and garden tools DERROL E. PASCO ESTATE CHARLOTTE PASCO 402-580-4749 Wieman Land & Auction Co., Inc. Marion SD 800-251-3111 Auctioneers & Clerks Website: www.wiemanauction.com LOCATED: City Auditorium, Tyndall, SD ANTIQUES - COLLECTIBLES: Oak kitchen cabinet; Oak washstand with towel rack; Oak wardrobe; Crown pump organ, very ornate; Organ stools; Buffet; Drop front desk; Round oak table; 5' church pew; Oak chairs and rockers; Hall trees; Old parlor stove; Brass bed; Mason treadle sewing machine; Oak brass wall mount coat rack; No. 2 cast iron bell; Old ceiling mount kerosene lamp; Aladdin kerosene lamp; Miscellaneous kerosene lamps and lanterns; Lamp brackets; Lane cedar chest; Banjo; Guitar; Dazey No. 40 churn; RW 5 gal. churn, damaged; Various crocks; Bowls; Thumb jugs; Mantle clock; Coffee grinder; Cast iron waffle iron; Sad irons; Horse collar mirror; DeLaval 518 separator; Corn sheller; Cistern top; Cream cans; Old trunk; Old pictures and frames; Slide viewer; Marbles; Tins; Washboards; Old utensils; Meat grinders, etc.; Green and pink depression; Hull vase; Several Jewel T pieces; Marigold; Delft; Ruby glass; Teapots; Cups and saucers; Cookie jar; 2 small pipestone pipes; Plus many more antiques, collectibles and primitives. SADDLES - GUNS: 3 Big Horn stock saddles; Old high back saddles; Glenfield Model 20 and 25 .22 bolt action repeaters; Springfield .22 ss. HOUSEHOLD - MISCELLANEOUS: Electric range; 3 pc. bedroom set; Chests of drawers; Matching sofa and chair; Desk; Miscellaneous tables; Stands; Cabinets and shelves; Easy chairs; Electric sewing machine; Sewing supplies; Fancywork; Bedding; Blankets; Pillows; Vacuums; Dehumidifier; Fans; Clocks; Radios; Heaters; Pictures; Mirrors; Lamps; Many records; Books; Cookbooks; Luggage; Toys; Lawn chairs; Microwave; Electric appliances; Pots; Pans; Cookware; Dishes; Silverware; Canning supplies; Plus many more kitchen and household related items. PICKUP: 1995 Dodge 1500 4x4, ext. cab, short box, 5.9, auto, 86,000 miles, nice truck. Fritz and Danelda Van Duysen, Owners For photos visit www.PetersonAuctioneers.com TERMS: Cash or personal check accompanied by photo ID Lee Wittmeier, Tyndall, SD www.PetersonAuctioneers.com Not Responsible for Accidents Lunch served Answer it! Find the job you’ve always wanted with a little help from the classifieds. Check the Help Wanted Section of the Missouri Valley Shopper for a variety of job listings – start a new career today! SHOPPER MISSOURI VALLEY 319 Walnut, Yankton SD 605-665-5884 Fax: 605-665-0288