12
March 13, 2012 • Page 12
shop online at www.missourivalleyshopper.com
LAURA ON LIFE
1565
Other Pets 1605
St. Paddy’s Day Madness
ADOPTIVE HOMES NEEDED
for several kittens, dogs & puppies. See Heartland Humane
Society at
Green is okay. It’s not
my favorite color. It’s not
my least favorite. But
wouldn’t a nice azure blue
or sunshine yellow be just
as good as green? Why
did it have to be green?
I’d love to support our
Irish friends on St.
Patrick’s Day, but I have
absolutely nothing green
to wear. I’ve come to the
conclusion that nobody
does unless they bought
it for a St. Patrick’s Day
party ten years ago.
There is a rule written in stone somewhere
(perhaps this Blarney
Stone I keep hearing
about) that you cannot go
to a St. Paddy’s Day party
wearing anything other
than green. Additionally,
you take the risk of getting kicked out if you
dare show up in orange,
which is very… not
green.
Nobody wants to get
kicked out because there
will be shamrocks… and
beer. Lots of beer.
There’s a rule about
having to drink beer on
St. Paddy’s Day too, but I
choose to ignore it. Beer
or call (605)664-4244.
makes me nauseated.
What can they do? Send
a leprechaun to make me
drink? … Bring it on, little green man. I think I
can take you.
By the way, the leprechauns did not sprout
from the St. Patrick legends. The little partycrashers simply took over
the holiday because St.
Patrick was a bit boring.
In fact, it is very unlikely that he ever drank
beer, sported a monochrome wardrobe, or ate
corned beef and cabbage
until he puked.
In fact, the modern
corned beef tradition
sprang from the original
meat used to celebrate
St. Patrick’s Day: bacon.
I can see how people who
drink large quantities of
beer might make that
mistake. (“I wondered
why that darn pig was
mooing!”) But whose sick
idea was it to combine
corned beef and cabbage
with kegs of beer, anyway?
Aha! That’s where the
green comes in! After
voluminous amounts of
corned beef, cabbage and
beer, the only green you’d
see is the green around
your gills around 2:00
am.
After waking from a
coma next to the commode in a bar to which
you don’t remember
going, one has to further
test his intestinal fortitude by going to the
parade with a hangover.
And yay! The parade
has bagpipes! Lots of
bagpipes.
Because,
apparently, the friendly
Scots support the Irish
madness with an instrument that looks like one
of the alien patrons of a
Star Wars pub. It sounds
like one too.
Of course, after ruining your only green shirt
with the contents of your
stomach, you would have
to brave the parade in a
color other than green.
There are consequences for blatantly
breaking the St. Paddy’s
Day rules. Now, every
Irish grandmother in the
city will subject you to an
“affectionate pinch”;
which is an oxymoron.
There really is no such
thing. However, if some-
Other Real Estate
FOR RENT OR SALE: 2,000
square foot building, downtown
Norfolk. Also for sale, restaurant equipment. 402-851-5754.
1605
Canyon Ridge
1700 Locust
1-bedroom for elderly or persons with disabilities. Rent
based on income. Equal Housing
Opportunity.
(605)664-8886 or Skogen
Company (605)263-3941.
Apartments For
Rent
1 and 2-bedroom apartments
for rent in Irene and Volin.
S&S
Apartment
Rentals.
(605)263-3445.
Laura Snyder
body’s
grandmother
pinches you, you are not,
I repeat, NOT, allowed to
slug her. Another St.
Paddy’s rule written in
stone.
So, yes, I wholeheartedly support our Irish
friends, and even those
who are only temporarily
Irish. But, gee, I just don’t
have anything to wear.
Happy
St. Patrick’s Day!
Laura Snyder is a nationally syndicated columnist,
author & speaker. You can
reach Laura at lsnyder@lauraonlife.com Or visit her website www.lauraonlife.com for
more info.
NO DOCUMENTATION FEES
Brian & Jean DeGroot, Owners
802 Broadway,
Yankton, SD
Boardwalk
Apartments:
Available soon: 2-Bedroom
and 1-Bedroom with garages,
furnished/unfurnished,
month-to-month or lease. Access to hot tub and workout
center. No smoking/pets.
( 6 0 5 ) 6 6 5 - 9 9 3 9
(605)661-0517.
www.heartlandhumanesociety.net
1600
Deluxe 2-bedroom apartments with free Internet,
water/garbage. Up and downstairs available. Beautiful Area.
(605)661-3999.
1, 2 bedrooms in Yankton. Diversified Property Management. Rental assistance available. Rent based on income.
Equal Opportunity Housing.
1(888)368-3330.
Duplex For Rent: Very well
kept 2-bedroom duplex with
garage in nice quiet residential
area. $675/month, plus utilities.
Water/sewer paid by landlord.
No pets, no smoking. Daytime
(605)624-2097,
evening
(605)624-2239.
1-bedroom, C/A, utilities with
satellite TV included, partially
furnished, parking space included, no pets/smoking, 213
West
3rd,
$460/month.
(605)665-4923/(605)665-2972.
Apartment for rent: 1-bedroom apartment in 4-plex in
Yankton. Stove/refrigerator,
$360/month, all utilities paid.
Deposit, no pets/smoking,
1-year lease (605)665-8856.
For Rent
Village Green Apartments
Yankton. 1 bedroom apartment available. Stove, refrigerator, utilities, furnished.
Rent based on income.
(605)665-0063
or
1-800-225-0564,
TDD#
1-800-622-1770.
Equal
Housing Opportunity.
2-bedroom apartment Between the 50?s 8th & Dakota.
Rent based on income. Equal
Housing
Opportunity.
(605)665-5909 or Skogen
Company (605)263-3941.
1 & 2-bedrooms
Orchard Square
418 W. 15th
$440 and $490. Includes
utilities. (605)665-6135 or
SkogenCompany (605)2633941.
Small 2-bedroom Duplex,
off-street
parking.
Gas
heat/AC. No pets, lease, deposit and references required.
Larry’s Rentals (605)664-9014
or (605)661-0987 after 5pm.
(Never have, never will.)
Apartments For
Rent
We Pay CASH on the Spot!
Buy • Sell • Trade
Furniture, electronics, tools, bikes,
fitness equipment, lawn mowers, etc.
Quatlity...USED Cars,
Trucks, Campers, Boats
& Consignments
River City Tool & Pawn
665-1596
21st & Broadway • Yankton • 665-3588
www.bridgecityautoyankton.com
TYNDALL
MOTORS
Chevy Runs Deep
Talk to
Dan or Tom
Ph. 605-589-3441 or
Toll Free 1-888-589-3441
See photos of
our entire inventory at
www.tyndallmotors.com
NEW CHEVY CARS AND TRUCKS
2012 Chevy 1/2 ton, Crew, LT1 Cloth Pak .................................................. 8 On Hand
2012 Chevy 3/4 ton, HD 4x4....................................................................... 2 On Hand
2012 Chevy Impala, Red, Cloth, V6 ............................................................ 1 On Hand
2012 Chevy Traverse, A.W.D, V-6 .............................................................. 2 On Hand
2012 Chevy Equinox, A.W.D. ..................................................................... 5 On Hand
2012 Chevy Traverse AWD ........................................................................ 2 On Hand
2011 Chevy Traverse, A.W.D, V-6 .............................................................. 1 On Hand
2012 Chevy Cruze, 4 dr, LT1 Pak............................................................... 1 On Hand
2012 Chevy Sonic, Red, LT1 Pak ............................................................... 1 On Hand
PRE-OWNED TRUCKS
2011 Chevy Silverado, Crew, LTZ, Loaded, Red, 37,510 miles ...................... $43,900
2009 Chevy Avalanche LTZ, 4 dr, Leather, Maroon, V-8, 24,864 miles ..........$36,995
2007 GMC Sierra 150, Ext., Silver, 48,871 miles ............................................ $17,995
2002 Chevy Silverado 2WD, Ext., Gray, 64,287 miles .................................... $10,900
PRE-OWNED SUVs
2011 Chevy Traverse, Maroon, 16,500 miles .................................................. $28,900
2011 Chevy Traverse, White, 800 miles ......................................................... $31,900
2008 Mercury Mariner, Silver, V6, Leather, 45,550 miles ................................ $17,995
2008 Chevy Trailblazer, Red, 66,932 miles ..................................................... $17,995
2007 Chevy Suburban Lt, Leather, Black, 81,275 miles .................................. $22,995
2005 Chevy Tahoe, Blue, V-8, 113,410 miles ................................................. $14,995
2004 Buick Rainier, Silver, I6, 95,180 miles .................................................... $10,995
2003 Chevy Tahoe, Maroon, V8, 120,087 miles ............................................. $10,995
2002 Ford Expedition, Red, V8, 87,876 miles ................................................... $8,995
PRE-OWNED CARS
2011 Chevy Impala, V6, White, Leather, 12,000 miles .................................... $19,995
2011 Chevy Impala, Silver, V6, 14,550 miles .................................................. $15,995
2011 Chevy Impala, Silver, V6, 12,900 miles .................................................. $18,500
2011 Chevy Impala, Black, V6, Leather, 9,600 miles ...................................... $19,995
2011 Chevy Impala, Maroon, V6, 17,690 miles ............................................... $18,500
2011 Chevy Impala, White, V6, Leather, 12,880 miles .................................... $19,995
2011 Chevy Malibu, V6, White, 12,320 miles .................................................. $19,995
2011 Chevy Cruze, Blue, 4 cyl., 19,590 miles ................................................ $16,995
2011 Chevy Cruze, Silver, 4 cyl., 21,310 miles ............................................... $16,995
2011 Buick Lucerne, White, V6, , Leather, 20,450 miles ................................. $25,995
2010 Chevy Malibu L4, 4 cyl., Black, 34,160 miles.......................................... $14,500
2010 Chevy Malibu L4, 4 cyl., Black, 28,910 miles.......................................... $14,995
2008 Chevy Impala, Silver, V6, 58,567 miles .................................................. $12,995
2008 Chevy Impala, Black, V6, 33,000 miles .................................................. $13,995
2008 Chevy Impala, Gray, V6, 33,500 miles ................................................... $13,995
2008 Cadillac DTS, Silver, V-8, Leather, 32,500 miles .................................... $25,995
2003 Chrysler Concord, Gray, V6, 88,080 miles ............................................... $6,995
su|do|ku
© 2008 KrazyDad.com
Fill the puzzle so that every row, every column, and every
section contain the numbers 1-9 without repeating a number
5
5
2
8
6
4
3 2
3
6 7
7 6
1
2
9
4
7
2 4
1
8
9
6
Check today’s issue for
the solution to the puzzle.
bp Broadcaster
Press
Since 1934
INT Book 30 #7