mvs_040511_005.pdf





April 5, 2011 • Page 5
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LAURA ON LIFE
What a week in Hawaii
Day 1: Landed in
Hawaii after a grueling 6000-hour flight,
two of which were
spent on the ground at
the terminal waiting
for what the captain
called “an anomaly” to
right itself. I’m not
sure what the problem
was, but whenever
Captain Kirk from
Star Trek mentioned
an anomaly, it was
never a good thing,
and the guy in the red
suit never survived it.
I was wearing pink,
thank goodness.
Day 2: Jet lag sets
in. We went to
Waimea Valley where
we hiked up to a waterfall. We would
have taken a refreshing swim, but the
water was about minus 20 degrees. That’s
about 100 degrees
more refreshing than
is comfortable for me.
Light mist (read rain)
was with us most of
the day. The kids went
snorkeling in Shark’s
Cove. It was not
possible for sharks to
swim into this protected area, so I can
only think it was
named after the ferocious fish to keep
visitors out. It didn’t
work. I didn’t snorkel
anyway, because snorkeling when it is
misting out is somehow against the laws
of nature. They put me
in charge of the keys
to the rental car. Not
a smart decision. I
dropped them in the
trunk and closed it
while all the doors
were locked. It cost us
$90 to get rescued. I
blame it all on jet lag.
night sleep finally, but
my family made sure I
never took possession
of the keys again. We
drove to the International Marketplace in
Waikiki and bought a
bunch of stuff to sell
in our next garage
sale. My youngest son
left his Crocs at the
beach yesterday. I
told him he’d have to
wear his water shoes
for the rest of the trip
unless he could find a
pair of sandals for less
than $5. He learned to
haggle at the Marketplace. It rained all day
again. Optimistically,
I suppose, we bought
beach towels. If we
didn’t use them for
swimming, at least we
could dry the rain off
of us. Near Waikiki
was Diamondhead
Crater. After climbing
one and a half miles to
the rim, in the rain,
we snapped some
incredible pictures
and limped back
down. It was totally
worth it. My sandal
broke halfway up and
I went barefoot to the
top and back. It’s a
claim most people
can’t make because
they are smart enough
not to wear sandals on
a hike. I let my son
haggle for more sandals. He was getting
to watch some parachutists. Well, all
except for my son. He
was relentless in
letting us know he
still had no glasses
with which to see
them.
good at it.
Day 4: Legs were
screaming for mercy
this morning. The
humidity here has
caused my hair to
explode. And how
does one get so sunburned when one has
not seen the sun in
three days? Beaches
were out of the question today. My legs
would not have cooperated. I would have
had to transport myself to the water the
same way a turtle
does. We visited the
Dole Pineapple Plantation instead, and
rode the Pineapple
Express train. It beat
walking. Couldn’t
resist the offer of fresh
pineapple, either. I
have two canker sores
to prove it. Continuing our journey, we
arrived in Honolulu at
Iolani Palace, the last
home of the royal
family. Iolani Palace
was on the smallish
side as palaces go, but
it had every modern
convenience available
in the late 1800’s,
including electric
lights, telephone, and
flush toilets. Of all
the things we saw, my
youngest boy was
mostly interested in
the toilets.
Laura Snyder
Day 5: My son’s
glasses broke so, after
a bracing downpour,
we went in search of
Krazy Glue. We never
found the Krazy Glue,
but we found an outdoor farmer’s market.
We bought a chicken
pastela to eat and a
banana caramel one
as well. Then we ate
our feast at a local
park by the water. It
doesn’t get any better
than this! It was
decided that since my
son wouldn’t need
glasses for swimming,
we would beach ourselves for the day, or
at least until the rain
started again. On the
way home, we stopped
Day 6: Bought
some Krazy Glue and
boogie boards. We
would not be using the
two together, but I’m
sure the cashier wondered. Took the boogie
boards to a beach and
watched the kids
“boogie” while my
husband and I developed second degree
burns on the parts of
our anatomy that
didn’t get sun
screened. Our haphazard distribution of
sunscreen gave us
both a rather mottled
look; something akin
to a Dalmatian, only
redder. Tomorrow we
plan to simply sunscreen the burned
spots, so as to even
out our future tan.
Day 7: Saw some
“real” Hawaiians
today. Those are the
ones who wear grass
skirts according to my
daughter. It was great
that the Hawaiians
finally showed up on
our last day. Ever
since we told my fourteen-year old that
Hawaii Five-O was
filmed here, he has
been fixated on how
much crime there is
on the island. The
youngest only wanted
to talk about the size
of the garbage cans
and recycling. My
daughter was the
official picture-taker.
She took 942 pictures
this week! Not one
was of a garbage can
or a robbery. Every
siren we heard was
followed by a rousing
version of the Hawaii
Five-O theme song. In
hindsight, I think we
should have rented a
larger car… or
spawned fewer children.
Laura Snyder is a nationally syndicated columnist,
author & speaker. You can
reach Laura at lsnyder@lauraonlife.com Or visit her website www.lauraonlife.com for
more info.
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