February 22, 2011 • Page 14 shop online at www.missourivalleyshopper.com LAURA ON LIFE An Unusual Winter Sport Ice skating is a foreign activity to some who live in temperate climates, but I was born in Buffalo, New York, where participating in winter sports was the only way to combat cabin fever. Every day is bright and sunny with a classified ad to make you MONEY! Place your ad today with the SHOPPER MISSOURI VALLEY 319 Walnut, Yankton SD 216 W. 605-665-5884 SD 4th St., Yankton, Fax: 605-665-0288 605-665-5884 I don’t live in Buffalo any longer, however. My younger children hadn’t lived in a cold climate for most of their lives, so ice skating is as foreign to them as surfing is to their Buffalonian cousins. My daughter thought she’d like to win an Olympic medal and she thought the best way to do that was to learn how to ice skate. Far be it from me to discourage a future Olympic medalist. When we arrived, my son was surprised to realize that the ice rink was cold. The physics didn’t kick in until he fell the first time. “Mom, this is real ice!” “Is that so?” Come join our... Design Sales Team Excellent incentive pay and bonuses. Full-time, benefits, some nights and weekends. Experience in furniture/ appliance sales preferred, but willing to train. Apply in person 920 Broadway Yankton Laura Snyder At first, all three of them hugged the side walls of the rink. I was informed that the ice was slippery. Having practically been born on ice skates, I was having no trouble at all. A few collisions with a munchkin were always a possibility at a public rink, but I managed to keep myself upright for most of the time. My kids were amazed that such an old person could skate on that slip- pery ice without falling. I was insulted and gratified at the same time. My daughter finally decided that if she wanted a shot at an Olympic medal, she would have to let go of the side. I told her that the only difference between her and an Olympic gold medalist was that the Olympians have fallen more than she has. She counted all of her falls. The older son would let go for short forays punctuated by scissoring his feet rapidly for a few yards then slumping in an awkward pile onto the ice. If there was no danger of getting body parts sliced off by an approaching speed skater, he’d lie there in his awkward position as if posing for an imagi- Attention Farmers Get Over The Top Yield Increases! •1st-AgZyme at 12.8 oz. per acre with your starter fertilizer. •Then-16 oz. of C4 with your herbicide at spraying time and watch your yields EXPLODE! Easy To Use-No Extra Hassles See extra bushels creating higher pro?ts. Upcoming Farm Equipment Auctions LATE MODEL JOHN DEERE DEALERSHIP INVENTORY REDUCTION VIRTUAL AUCTION Online Bidding starts Monday Feb 21st Live Auction Ending Tuesday March 1st Featuring Late Model, Low Hour Equipment. JD, CaseIH, & MF Combines & Heads, JD 4-wheel Drives & Track Tractors; plus Air Drills, Planters, Sprayers, Balers, & More. See www.GirardAuction.com for more info or call for free flyer. SPRING FARM MACHINERY CONSIGNMENT AUCTION Friday March 25th Located: Girard Auction Facilities, Wakonda, SD. Consign Today! Tractors, Tillage Equipment, Livestock Equipment, Planters, Haying Equipment, Trucks, Trailers, Vehicles, Lawn Mowers, Tools & More. Call today to receive full advertising benefits or email us your photos & listing! 13TH ANNUAL COLLECTOR CAR & ANTIQUE TRACTOR AUCTION June 24-25 Located: Girard Auction Facilities, Wakonda, SD Consignments are now being accepted! 100 Vehicles & 100 Tractors expected with buyers in attendance from around the world! For more info on any of these auctions or to consign, please call our office toll free at 1-866-531-6186. We have been in the auction business for over 40 years and been part of 6,000+ Auctions! Over 1,000 photos currently online at www.GirardAuction.com. G irard Auction & Land Brokers, Inc. (605) 267-2421 www.GirardAuction.com Toll Free: 1-866-531-6186 Marv Girard, BA #12399; Ken Girard, CAI, AARE Broker #10183; Mike Girard BA #13549 nary photographer. He tells me that he was trying to imprint these ignominious falls onto his brain so that the next time I asked him if he wanted to go skating, he’d remember how much he hated it. The youngest boy would wait until I came within colliding distance. Then he would dart away from the wall, right in front of me. “Look, I’m an expert skater, now!” I deftly avoided this careening catastrophe and watched as he took three giant strides and concluded his performance with a spectacular fall. I say “spectacular” not only because I’d never seen so many different ways to fall but also because the boy has no shame. He was wearing a pair of pants that didn’t fit his waist. He wore no belt. And he decided to go “commando” that day. It became clear that the long strides were mostly to help keep his pants up. The spectacular falls became necessary because his hands couldn’t break his fall. They were too busy holding his pants up. Regardless of these measures taken for modesty’s sake, he regularly mooned every skater in the joint with his skinny little hide. He should have simply held on to the side to avoid so much attention, but then how would he hold his pants up? He may actually have invented a new winter sport: Moon Falling. Laura Snyder is a nationally syndicated columnist, author & speaker. You can reach Laura at lsnyder@lauraonlife.com Or visit her website www.lauraonlife.com for more info. Ta k e t h e G a n g ! 2001 Chevy Tahoe LS 4x4 Full Power, 5.3L Auto, Seating For Eight 8,900 $ phdmaximumcrop.com 49360 East Hwy 20, O’Neil, NE. 402-336-3920 888-336-3920 LAND FOR SALE Bon Homme County, South Dakota The following parcel will be offered for sale by sealed bids and private auction: The West Half of the Northeast Quarter (W 1/2 NE 1/4) of Section Twenty-nine (29), Township Ninety-four (94) North, Range Sixty-one (61), West of the 5th P.M., in Bon Homme County, South Dakota. This sale presents an excellent opportunity to purchase a very nice parcel of property consisting of approximately eighty (80) acres. The parcel will be sold “AS IS.” Interested parties shall prepare sealed bids containing contact information. Bids shall be sent to: Scott R. Swier, Swier Law Firm, Prof. LLC, P.O. Box 256, Avon, South Dakota 57315. Bids must be postmarked or hand-delivered by 4:00 p.m. NO LATER THAN MARCH 11, 2011. The six highest bidders will then be invited to a private auction, held March 18, 2011 (place to be determined) at which time bids may be raised. TERMS: CASH: All bidders must accompany their bid with a check for ten percent (10%) of the bid amount made payable to the Swier Law Firm, Prof. LLC Trust Account and said sum will be applied to the total purchase price if bidder is the successful purchaser. Bidder must specifically represent the aforesaid payment shall apply to any and all subsequent bids for the above-described property. The successful bidder shall pay one-half of the remaining balance due on April 1, 2011, and the remaining one-half of the balance being due on January 1, 2012. A warranty deed will convey title to the new owner and an owner’s title insurance policy will be provided, with such cost being split between Buyer and Seller. 2010 real estate taxes will be paid by the Seller; Buyer shall pay all 2011 taxes. The acreage of the property set forth above is “more or less,” with the exact acres to be determined by survey paid by Buyer (if desired); it is the responsibility of Buyer to inspect the and and public records prior to submitting bids. Sold subject to existing easements, restrictions, reservations or highways of record, if any. The land is subject to an oral lease for the 2011 crop year. Seller reserves the right to reject any and all bids. For additional information, contact: Scott R. Swier, Swier Law Firm, Prof. LLC - Attorney for Seller P.O. Box 256, Avon, South Dakota 57315 Telephone: 605-286-3218 Swier Law Firm, Prof., LLC Tony and Donna Ellis 605-665-3720 • 1200 Ellis Road, Yankton, SD 57078 Watch for your oversized SCAN & WIN! ** postcard! 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